The Bishop held a meeting at his home last evening for candidates currently in the process of discerning a vocation. Also present were diocesan DDO and staff and staff from the diocesan ministry training scheme.

Around 30 candidates attended, which helps you appreciate that it is not just you! Lots of others, from all ages and backgrounds, are in the process of testing their vocation at different stages of the journey. The common denominator perhaps being that everyone's journey has been different and unique.

I met and spoke to many different people, and at the end, I struggled to remember my own name, let alone those who I had spoken to and socialized with. I also share many inspirational stores of how people came to where they are now.

Some that I spoke to, commented on the the length of time it seemed to take for them to both understand that they were being called and then plucking up the courage to actually speak to their Vicar about it. I also noted that some were a little impatient with the church seeming to take a long time in the discernment process. I could recognised this, remembering my own impatience at the start of this journey, but having received the gift of relaxing and waiting on God am content. This is a state which seems to hit different people at different stages of their journey.

Most motivational of all, were those present, who later in life had had the call and had gone on to be selected, trained and ordained and were now involved in training or supporting candidates in training, They resonated with me, especially those whose background was not necessarily academic or with a degree or background at that level.

One candidate is a lorry driver, which seems to me to demonstrate that God is indiscriminate in who or when he calls people. God calls who he will and needs for a particular tasks or times So there is hope yet for me.

What did I get from this meeting:

Along with the benefit of meeting so many other, like minded people, I shared wth people from diverse backgrounds, most of whom I would not normally meet. From lorry driver to the Bishop himself. The bishop’s ability to speak to any single person for a prolonged period, was limited by the numbers involved. It seems to me that this sort of meeting is most useful to all of us - it helps you to appreciate that you are not struggling on your own - others share the journey, so prayer for each other and the Bishop and Diocesan staff who are sharing the journey is really important. I came away from the meeting refreshed and affirmed that I am in the right place at the moment, the discernment process is not just about testing a vocation, it is also about growing and learning about yourself and absorbing Jesus much more deeply and centrally into your whole being.

Episode 2 - Victim of Crime

Following my earlier post http://ukviewer.blogspot.com/2011/01/victim-of-crime.html on this topic, new developments have come about.

I waited patiently for the copy of the forged cheque to be sent to me within the stipulated 7-10 working days. Having had nothing by this morning, I actually rang to inquire where it was. Eventually being put through to the fraud department.

They said that they could not send the cheque as the image was too poor to be copied? Nobody had thought to ring or to let me know.

I reiterated my disappointment with their service for a number of reasons:

1. Broken promises.
2. Lack of communication.
3. Lack of a sense of urgency.
4. Concern about the account, now over £400 overdrawn with charges.
5. I had not had my statement either.

They came back with:

1. We apologise, but we have not in fact commenced a fraud investigation following your earlier call.
2. Your account is now frozen. You cannot issue cheques or draw cash unless you visit a branch with ID.
3. Once we put the phone down, we will not be able to talk to you about this account, unless you attend a branch in person with ID.
4. We believe that someone ordered a cheque book using your bank details, which are considered compromised, we will have to open a new acccount. We can't tell you how long this will take, it depends on the investigation's outcome.
5. We will write to you when the investigation is concluded, perhaps within a couple of days, more likely in a week or so.
6. If fraud is considered proven, we will refund the money taken and any charges that have been applied to the account.
7. Reporting it to the police was not something they did. They have police liaison who they only use if they think that there is a reasonable chance of a successful prosecution???
8. I could, if I chose to, report it to the police, although they were unable to share information with the police for data protection reasons? Even with my permission.
9. I can't speak to those conducting the investigation (nor could the agent I was dealing with) but they could call me at their discretion if they thought that I could help them?

By this time, my normally calm exterior was becoming a bit frayed, asking to talk to a manger elicited the response that there was no point as they would not know the circumstances and could not answer my questions.

In the end, I had to take a deep breath, grit my teeth and accept the situation, not that I am satisfied with them. The main frustration is being left in limbo with no communications from them - I am having to be proactive to remind them 'hey - there's a problem here - I've been ripped off - what are you doing about it.

So, the banks can please themselves. Their security systems are compromised, my bank account is frozen and I have to wait on their convenience to find out what is going on. I have now taken this to the police and financial ombudsman, to see if they can help the bank get a move on.

Confirmation Service at Parish Church 12th January 2011

Our benefice held a confirmation service at Bridge on Wed 12th Jan 2010. The celebrant was the Bishop of Dover. There were 25 candidates for confirmation (one with Baptism), eleven of whom were adults. The Vicar and curate, , along with a small band formed from young people in the five villages of the benefice, supported the Bishop.

The service was beautiful the Bishop was on the best of form giving a rousing sermon and encouraging both those being confirmed, those supporting them and the whole congregation to as a community to be disciples for Christ. His memorable opening comment at the start of the service was “This is God’s work”, highlighting the importance and significance of the occasion, not just for those being confirmed but for the congregation and wider community.

I found the Bishop’s participatory attitude very refreshing – we were urged to stand for those we were supporting and during the baptism of the candidate at the rear of the church, to leave our pews and to congregate around the font (difficult with such large numbers). The peace was memorable as the bishop seemed to shake the hand of everyone present (his arm must have been sore next morning).

I had not been assigned a formal role prior to the service, but found myself acting as part of the welcome team, handing out orders of service and directing candidates and their families and supporters to the correct place. During the service, I had the privilege of assisting in the distribution of wine on a side Altar with the Vicar.

The service used the 'Baptism of Christ' readings and the hymns ‘Be Thou my Vision’, ‘Be Still for the Presence of God’, ‘What a Faithful God Have I’ and ‘I the Lord of Sea and Sky’ just seemed so apt and appropriate, with music from a small band of players from the church and the organ supplementing, it made the service and singing resound and resonate with me.

I was also wonderful to see the church full, standing room only, with so many family and friends there supporting the candidates. After the service, a reception was held for greetings and meetings with old and new relationships enjoyed with a glass of wine (or orange) and nibbles.

What did I get from this service?

I came away from the service (eventually) feeling invigorated, uplifted and renewed. I had sensed during the service a powerful feeling of the Holy Spirit alongside us and perhaps the excitement of those being confirmed, but a much stronger feel of cohesion and community worship, prayers rising to heaven vibrant, heartfelt and strong. I felt warmed and comfortable and of being where I belonged – worshiping along with the community that has adopted, befriended and encouraged me so much in the past two and a half years. I am privileged to be a part of it and God has been good to me in bringing me here.

Victim of Crime

I discovered today that someone, using a cheque book, sent to me by my bank, but never received, has ripped my bank account off by over £900.   If I had not checked my balance online, I would not have known until my next statement. The bank  is being helpful, but will not refund the amount taken until they can verify it is fraud, in addition, they say I cannot report a crime until they have verified it. Frustrating, in the meantime my account appears overdrawn through no fault of mine. I have an undertaking that once the investigation is complete that they will refund all charges and in the meantime will honour my direct debits etc. Not helpful that I cannot draw cash until this is resolved.  It takes 7 to 10 working days for them to send me a copy of the cheque as they are not allowed to email it.  Modern bank, stone-age technology.

Some things strike me about this:

1. I felt really shocked that someone could knowingly take money that wasn't theirs.

2. I felt very angry and violated - someone has been allowed to take a large amount out of an account, using one cheque, without a cheque guarantee card and without any apparent identity checks etc. Often I have had calls from the bank for smaller amounts challenging the debit - why not on this occasion?

3. I felt very judgmental against whoever did this! And then guilt about being so angry.

An hour or so later, having had some time now to reflect, I realized that my reactions are normal human reactions - which I should not feel guilty about, but ones which I need to bring under control a little more. Forgiveness springs to mind as the next step. Whatever happens after it is reported to the police, the transgressor deserves my forgiveness, while not condoning what they have done. It is out with my control, so trust in God that it will be resolved promptly and without any further anger on my part.

I pray that I am able to maintain this sense of forgiveness and balance as the situation develops.

Seventh DDO Interview -- Renewal

I met my DDO on Monday of this week.  The last meeting had been challenging to say the least, but this one seemed much more positive.   Work that I had submitted last month, was well received and provoked discussion on some aspects, and comments that real evidence was beginning to emerge, that perhaps I might actually not be wasting my, or the churches time in the discernment process.

I found this to be a fruitful and affirming meeting,   While much work remains to be done, some developmental, some needing careful reflection and growth as a Christian - but overall, it seemed to be the right place and right time.

Prior to the meeting, I had attended a short retreat and had sought guidance from my SD.   Among prayer and reflection, I was blessed with a real sense of inner peace and the conviction that I should just wait on God and his will for this journey will become clear.

I am convinced that the prayers were partially answered, in that the YES or NO question on whether to continue answered itself, when the DDO indicated that we were to continue, without actually asking whether I wished to.

I know that there remains an enormous mountain to climb and much inner baggage to be overcome, but my reality has changed so much on this journey, I can only welcome the challenge as it seems to be one step at a time, inching forward to where God might wish me to be.

I have a task this month involving drafting a pastoral letter and a book to read, relatively peaceful after the turmoil of the last few months.  God is good to me, and I am receiving so much support from my Vicar,  my SD and Parishioners and family and friends - this is what makes the discernment process so worthwhile.  It's not about letting people down or meeting their expectations, it's about seeing how and where I am being called to serve.

Anglicanorum Coetibus

The Church Mouse has posted on this earlier.  The Catholic Bishops of England and Wales have made an announcement about the Ordinariate, which provides for an implementation time table for receiving the departing Bishops, Clergy and groups of the faithful on a schedule between early 2011 to Pentecost 2011.

The full text of their statement is:here.  Having a history with the RC Church, I can only hope that they are received with good grace and that their hopes and desire for a new start in faith in communion with Rome are realized.  I am very aware that after the Ordination of Women as Priests in the C of E, many went across to Rome at that time, some came back, completely disenchanted.  I am also aware that the C of E, occasionally receives former RC priests into Anglican Orders.   But, of course, we do not make a song and dance about it.

For those leaving, it will be a huge upheaval and life changing, perhaps with some personal sacrifice and hardship, particularly for stipendiary clergy and their families - it remains to be seen what effect their presence within the RC Church will have upon those existing elements within it, who seek both the Ordination of Women and the end of celibacy.

The one thing that I do know, is that having come from Rome to Canterbury, I could not conceive of returning, the freedom of thought and belief I enjoy as an Anglican, along with so much more, within my Parish is a new, transformed life of faith and love.

I will be praying for all of those involved, who must be allowed to go with grace and with our continuing friendship and blessings.

Remembrance Day

Today at 1100 hrs I led a small act of Remembrance at a Rural Church, with about a dozen people.   This was the second time I was privileged to share with those there the words and prayers of reconciliation and forgiveness which allows us to pay our respects to all who have suffered and died through the wars since WW1.

Coming from a military background, so having been involved for over 45 years with these ceremonies, perhaps I might feel a little jaded, but on the contrary, each passing years makes it more poignant and I grieve for those I know who have suffered.

I find myself wondering why mankind seems to be so set on its own mutual destruction through war, and its causes.    As a soldier, I was sent to places, where I did my duty, and If I am honest, did not really think about why I was there, or what I was doing.  It was enough that the Government sent us and we were doing our duty.  

How my perspective has changed, now I see war as an evil and perhaps a manifestation of that evil which is the diametric opposite of good.  And I wonder how I would justify my actions in those situations if challenged by someone, particularly my grand children, and perhaps to my maker.

Life is so precious, it should never be sacrificed in any war, and I pray that we will all come to the realization of how unnecessary it actually is.