In Sickness and in Health

I'm was spurred on this morning to write a post about the Wedding Vows we took, particularly 'In Sickness and in Health' those promises which can sound so pat on the day, but bear so much meaning when a Christian marriage is blessed with spouses who whole heartedly take on the promises unstintingly, and give whole heartedly of themselves to each other. I've been sick since Sunday evening, with a particularly nasty and virulent virus, which left me totally helpless to look after myself. It involved continuous nausea and diarrheoa over a 48 hour period, where stuff erupted from every orifice, even through my nose, giving me real worry about being able to breathe at times. More worrying was a stabbing pain across my chest, which gave rise to worries about heart trouble. But checking that out, the heart was working normally, it was just a severe increase in stomach acid coming into the windpipe and throat causing severe heartburn. I've never been the best of patients, I hate being unwell, as in my selfishness, I want to get on with things and just be and do whatever I feel necessary. On this occasion, I was to weak and giddy, just standing was an effort, accompanied by real giddiness which make me reel and have to hold onto things to take a few steps. Climbing the stairs to bed was out of the question, so I spent three nights on the coach, able to make a speedy exit to the facilities when necessary. Accompanying me on this journey, has been Jen, my beloved spouse. I've nursed her when she has been ill and after several major operations in recent years, but in reality, I've been fortunate in having fairly robust health for most of our marriage, so she found nursing an invalid, especially a cranky one, something out of the usual. I can only say, how wonderful she has been. She has been loving, patient, supportive, encouraging, nurturing and everything that the marriage promises seem to describe. In sickness and in Health, say that whatever happens, whatever state you get into, your spouse will be there, suffering with you, but doing their best to make things better. I know that it takes a special type of grace to look after the sick and disabled, and even more when it is someone you love dearly, and the thing that comes across from this experience over the three days, has been the strength or her love for me has been demonstrated to me in spades. Jen has cleaned up after me, has washed me, cuddled me and rushed around between work, the doctors and chemist to get the necessary medication. She has made up a bed for me on the coach and has even encouraged the cats to come and say hi, as I felt totally unable to make it to them. Jen has been my tower of strength, and today is our 24 th anniversary. I've not been able to buy her a card, get her flowers or chocolate and our planned celebratory dinner out tonight has had to be postponed. Her resilience in the face of the selfish, self-pitying person I became at the worst of the illness, is saint-like. And a Saint she is. From my perspective, it reinforces the commitment that we make to each other in marriage. These days, its all to easy to turn your face away from a difficulty, to be critical of someone suffering, to ignore it and to tell them to pull themselves together. In marriage, the shared life together puts aside all such selfishness. It means sharing all and everything, no secrets. A whole hearted commitment to a partnership made by God, who I am sure brought us together all of those years ago. One that's for life, wherever it takes you. I thank God for his blessings on our marriage and for Jen, whose love is so strong, and for my love for her. God be praised.

Latest DDO Meeting

The meeting last Monday, went very well. The DDO was on excellent form, dressed in summer shorts, T-shirt and trainers - so un-clerical, that he was ultra relaxed.

We discussed the Essays I had written, particularly one I had written about the Riots and we discussed the situation and the role of the church and some of the inspiring things that I had read about and even blogged about. This was an opportunity to discuss an Essay-blog written by The Rev Hayley Matthews, a priest who had been caught up in the Salford Riots and had stayed throughout just ‘being’. How inspirational I had found her story, which tied in very much with another aspect of Ordained Ministry. We spoke in some detail about my reflection on the riots and how the media, police and politicians were dealing with it, and in particular some of the biased, short-sighted suggestions being made. It was interesting to reflect on how, it had come through in his own sermon from the OT, Epistle and Gospel readings last Sunday.

We moved on to discuss the details of Selection, Initial Ministry Training and Continuing Ministry Education post ordination. Particularly the links in with the development of Common Tenure and how it was the same for both stipendiary and self-supporting ministry, albeit, curacy's were slightly different, one full time, one part-time. 

This was an engaging conversation as I felt that my knowledge of the training system was incomplete, and I had read some commentary on the internet challenging the churches leadership preparation and training for senior appointments. He gave me a detailed explanation of the system, how it has changed over time and how the new system, linked to common tenure was bringing the church belatedly, into the 21st Century in terms of Human Resource practices. He gave me a copy of the CME training criteria and explained the portfolio approach to it. A curate is required to complete all parts over the curacy which goes to the bishop towards the end of curacy to enable a decision, along with other reports, on future ministry deployment for the curate. It all made sense when I understood it.

I really felt affirmed. I know that I had visibly learned and grown during our discussiona. It was lively, two-way repartee. I continue to be impressed with the DDO’s determination to do the best for all potential ordinand's and to ensure that the church discerns a call to ministry fully and directs that call into the correct path.

It's clear that the meeting with the bishop next month is crucial. We have not organised a formal appointment, for next month, as the DDO is on holiday.   We will see the bishop's recommendation, if satisfactory,  he will book me onto a diocesan panel, probably in November and we will meet again in October.

 I had been to church earlier and said Morning Prayer aloud in an empty church.  I felt relaxed, prepared and just at peace. This feeling continues and I'm grateful to the DDO who, enables, encourages and supports my journey. I discovered that he's actually got 25 people in the system at various stages so, the fact that he gives me so much time is a blessing.

God be praised.

Hackney Riots

I come originally from Bethnal Green/Hackney. I lived just down the road from where the riots took place yesterday. It was a deprived childhood, and lots of other things contributed to me leaving to join the Army and never to return in the mid-1960’s.

In the 1980’s and early 1990’s, working in London,   I worked with Hackney Council and their Schools on providing Work Experience Schemes for pupils, who came from a wide variety of cultures and backgrounds,  all of whom, I  found eager to learn and to participate. Some went onto further education, while for others, in the main, from ethnic minorities, didn’t really have the option. I can remember one young Muslim girl, who came for interview with her mother, and anticipated her mother chapheroning her during the two week placement. This would have been impossible to manage, and we reluctantly had to decline the placement. After these placements, we would visit the schools to see the pupils reporting on their placements and their achievements during their time with us. I know that these young people contributed as much to us as we did to their education. So, I have a bias towards the young people, living in sometimes high deprivation, but who were determined to make the best of themselves for thier own sake and for their families.

More recently,  I’ve travelled regularly through Hackney, it has changed hugely, both with a much more diverse population, but also to the community facilities that exist there. The local authority, once a bye word for poor administration, has improved greatly and has striven to improve the area for its people. Some parts of the area has moved upmarket, evidenced by the high numbers of professionals moving into the area. Sadly, other parts, particularly the numerous social housing estates while improved, continue to suffer a high level of deprivation. Monied, city professionals, live, side by side with these estates of social housing, whose occupants, appear to derive little from their environment. Poverty, and unemployment are as bad, if not worse than it was in my young days there in the 1960′s.

The quality of the social housing is slowly being improved, but Hackney is a poor borough and does not appear to have received much regeneration money, most of which appears to have gone east to Stratford, Bow and Waltham Forest. Social evils include the high level of unemployment (about 35% of those between 18 and 65, mainly with the young), poor access to higher education NHS and Social services. Deprivation is a way of life. There is also the other social evils, drug abuse, gang violence and crime. Hackney struggles to overcome its history and to do better for its people.

I know that there are good community agencies, Churches and  charities doing good work in the Borough. Diana Abbott a local MP is a powerful advocate for the people of Hackney, but I wonder if anyone listens to her. These agencies even in partnership are just touching the tip of the iceberg of need in the borough.

The East End, including Hackney, has always been a melting pot, and it’s no different today. Local population use probably as many languages as are on the planet. Normally, they live side by side with no problems, but there is a high awareness of the police and stop and search is an issue for younger people. I understand that it was such an action was the spark that lit the tinder, ready primed to explode. I suspect that there is a an element of criminal activity, gang activity involved, but the scene was already set by what had happened in Tottenham the night before. I’m not sure about pre-planning or the use of social networking to spread the trouble but, given the high access and use of it by the younger generation, I’m sure it was used in some way to spread the word.

I’m not condoning in any way, what happened, those who carried out the violence, looting and everything else that happened, bear their own responsibility. But, in our safe havens, in suburbia, the realities of life in an inner-city borough are often ignored until they slap us in the face. We’ve allowed a monster to be created by our own inaction, our own inability to see further than our own bank balances and mortgages and self interest. We’ve ignored the needs for social justice and providing for those who are penalised by their post code. Now the monster is biting back.

When the dust settles, when the trials are over, when the Inquiry reports, when we’ve moved onto the next headline, the situation there will remain essentially unchanged, volatile, just waiting for the next spark. We need to catch ourselves on and act now, to prevent much worse in the future. I find it a disgrace, that one fo the richest countries in the world, allows people to exist on subsistence levels, in inadequate circumstances, without hope and without the means to move on in their lives. Condemned , discarded and forgotten.

I believe that it’s time for a National debate, where listening to the needs and aspirations of the people, particularly the young is essential. We need to provide the resources and incentives to allow them to see that they are valued and that they can do better for themselves by accessing higher education or vocational training, particularly in new technology, where the demand for their labour would be higher than the more traditional employment models. Most of all, we need to trust them and show it to do things for themselves, by empowering and encouraging their communities to work together to improve their environment. Hopeful signs are already there, in the cleanup campaigns, spontaneous giving and donations activated across communities. This could and should be developed to wider benefit in Hackney.