Meeting with DDO - Post Diocesan Panel

I met the DDO yesterday, to receive a copy of the report and to get feedback from the Panel on my performance.   The meeting went well, beyond my expectations and while there are one or two areas needing to be addressed, but in the main, it was all positive.  Obviously, the assessors saw things latent in me, that I had not specifically identified myself.

I have a firm appointment to meet the Bishop and have discussed BAP and future training options with the DDO.   I need to discuss these with the Bishop, who has the final say.  There are three routes for training, and while I know the route I'd like to follow, the Bishop will I'm sure, have his own views.

BAP is likely to be mid-to late March. And I have a pre-BAP weekend scheduled in February.

I've got to make contact early with the training providers to discuss what option would be best for me and for the church.   I'll be looking to do this next week.   There's also a huge paperwork trail to start all over again.

If God's will is discerned positively at BAP, I hope to commence training at SEITE in the Autumn of 2012.

God is Great.

Picture from www. ststevenshouse.blogspot.com

Recommended by Diocesan Panel

Today I was notified that I've been recommended by a Diocesan Panel as suitable for training for Ordained Ministry.  That's not the end of the process, just one step along the journey.

I've got to meet the Bishop later this month, to see whether he accepts that recommendation and will send me to the Bishop's Advisory Panel (BAP) which is run by the Church as a national selection process.  It's run over a long weekend in different locations a few times a year.

The discernment process might seem to some to be quite long, quite drawn out and to be looking for some strange personal qualities.  I wonder how I managed to get through it so far.  Perhaps I'll be found out later?

But whatever comes of this process, I've had a hugely beneficial journey, shared with so many great and Holy people, supported by prayer and surrounded by the freely given grace of God.

Lots more I could say, but I've been privileged to share so much which has meant so much to me. God has certainly got a sense of humour.  I wanted to turn Cartwheels today when I got the news. But age and dignity precluded that. :)

Signs Received

I went to Aylesford Priory today for a quiet day of prayer and reflection. I’m due to attend a Diocesan Panel this coming Saturday, which is part of the discernment process for Ordained Ministry in the Church of England.

I’ve been in preparation for this panel for a number of weeks, and have done loads of stuff for it, including thinking through the Ordination Criteria and how the church will seek to discern whether my vocation is real, valid and whether my limited gifts could be usefully employed in an active ministry.

During the past few weeks since the date was announced, I’ve had mega-support from my Vicar and other Clergy and lay people within the Parish, culminating with special prayers last Sunday at Holy Communion, combined with the laying on of hands. I’ve felt honoured and humbled by their support, fellowship and evident encouragement to test the vocation I’ve explored for the past two years.

Yesterday I had a meeting with my Spiritual Director, which was enjoyable and which I left feeling very affirmed. In fact, I was totally relaxed and on top of the world. During the meeting in some way, God prompted me that I needed a quiet day, which I resolved to spend at Aylesford Priory.

A few hours later when the magnitude of what I am about to go through hit home. I had what I would call a ‘wobble’ and a crisis of confidence. I really felt that it was all to much, and that I wouldn’t be able to cope. But with support from others, I resolved to continue onto the quiet day and see what God might be saying to me over this.

This morning I arrived at Aylesford by 8. am. My SD had been struck by the words of Colossians 4, “Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside speech always be with grace” which I felt should be the theme for the quiet day. It was quiet and peaceful and I was able to walk around praying including the Rosary Walk, and than I went and sat in the Cloister Chapel for an hour and read the Gospel of John from the KJV of the bible that I had with me.. The opening words from John 1 to John 8, just seemed to be shouting at me that I too could be a messenger. I sat for a while, but I’d had a huge mood swing from negative to positive. Something was happening to transform me. I prayed in thanks giving.

I went for another longish prayer walk, stopping at the Cafe for a tea break, and decided that I would attend the mid-day Mass in the Cloister chapel. I’m quite comfortable at Mass, but as they were using the Revised Missal, I got a little confused. However, the first reading was from 1Samuel3, where the Lord calls Samuel. Again, God seemed to be shouting at me. Yes, You!!. I passed the rest of the Mass in bit of a daze. Could God actually be giving me signs, telling me that I might just be on the right path? I have to take it in good faith that he is.

I’ve returned home from Aylesford Priory, convinced that it was God’s prompting that drew me there today, where he was waiting to sign post me or to let me have a glimpse of his intentions. God speaking to me through scripture is a wonderful experience. I now go forward to the panel with renewed hope and spirit. God is Great.

 Photograph from Aylesford Priory Website: http://www.thefriars.org.uk/