Yesterday afternoon, I was privileged along with others from the benefice and parishes across the diocese to join the family and friends of the 14 Ordinands to be ordained priest at Canterbury Cathedral. This was the first time for me, and I was expectant and hopeful, particular as our curate, who has been an inspiration since she joined us last year, was to be priested.
I met our Curate outside the Cathedral on her way to anointing and she took the time to stop and to chat with me. I have been praying for her and her fellow Ordinands and shared thoughts about her big day with here and how I seemed seminal for me in seeing her progress. Being a ticket less event (for most of us) it was a bit of a scrum, but I was able to get an Aisle seat just behind the reserved seats, about halfway down the nave. Not a particularly good view, but I was just glad to be there, to be sharing such a momentous event in the journey of the Ordinands, and our Curate’s in particular.
The service was led by the Archbishop of Canterbury assisted by the Bishop of Dover. The Preacher was the former Bishop of Dover, Richard Llewellin, who has just returned from a 3 month stint in Palestine as a Peace Observer on the border between Israel and Palestine.
I found the whole service of Ordination and the Eucharist most uplifting. Particularly the singing, I don’t think there is anything quite like a large congregation in the Ancient Cathedral at Canterbury, ringing to the rafters as a very musical surge of sound. As is my wont, I visualized it knocking on the doors of heaven, demanding to be heard. (It was that sort of day). The whole service lasted two hours and it was well staged, vibrant and electrifying in places, particularly the ‘Rite of Ordination’ and the 'Eucharist'. Cathedral worship is a little more complex than parish worship and the choice of prayers used seems to be a wider use of common worship set services. The Archbishop has a melodic voice which resounded when he sang some of the service. The choir was magnificent and Richard Llewellin’s sermon resonated. It seemed to me that joy and grace was bathing all there, particularly for those being priested, but also those supporting them. Love streamed to and fro and we were united in one accord, worship of service to God.
Afterwards the Archbishop and the Bishop of Dover remained outside to meet and to greet the congregation and we were than able to meet and greet our new priests. Our curate was full of joy and excitement, which I believe we fully shared and I was gifted with a hug and a kiss on the cheek which just seemed to me to be right and natural. She is shortly to be married, so the cause for double joy for her this month. By this time I was quite tired and having a long journey, had to leave. I would have loved to stay and share more, but knew that I had much to go home, to pray and to reflect upon.
What did I get from this day?
It’s difficult to expound to much without sounding deferential, but it’s at occasions like this when I reflect back on my own reception (confirmation) into the Church of God at the Cathedral in November 2008, I just seem to be taking steps on a path, one at a time, sometimes knocked back, but always with an impetus to persevere and to push on. The Cathedral has a special place in my heart. Following my confirmation. I know that my journey as a Christian had started as a child, had been abandoned, but seemed to be really kick started at that confirmation. Immediately after just as I was coming down from the high, I received, the voice inside started nagging at me ‘its not enough - there’s more to do’ which has led me so much further on a journey, which I could not have imagined three years ago and If I am honest, I would had not believed.
For me, the experience of the three prior services I attended, reflect how worship can be so uplifting, but, can on occasion, disappoint. I go to worship hoping and seeking an experience where I feel God and the Holy Spirit to be present with us. In the main, I get this experience. Sometimes intensely, sometimes not at all. It also reflects on times when I personal prayer I really feel surrounded by the Spirit and feel comforted, warmed and even glowing. At other times I can feel nothing, but know that the routine and discipline of personal prayer is integral and really needs to be inbuilt. Not something to be picked up and laid aside when convenient. It needs total surrender of the heart, mind and spirit.
Something of which, will give the joy and certain knowledge as at the Ordination Service of fulfillment, of affirmation, but just being at peace and resting in God’s love. Ordination services are special, but it seems to me that we should treat every single act of worship or prayer as a renewed meeting with God, with greetings, praise and acknowlededment of how much he has done for us and to share with him our cares and woes along with our life. He is there, he is listening, he is comforting, he is affirming, he is Love.
Showing posts with label Vocation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vocation. Show all posts
Monday, 4 July 2011
Monday, 13 June 2011
DDO Meeting : Monday 13th June 2011
DDO Meeting : Monday 13th June 2011
I met, yet again, with the DDO this morning. Today, seemed to me and to him, to be a consolidation meeting. The DDO, had previously indicated, that the only thing stopping my moving to the next stage, was the processing of the faculty, this is now well underway.
We took stock of everything I have done, including going over the material submitted for my Portfolio and several reflections that I submitted in response to events that have occurred in the past month.
The DDO was keen to hear about the faculty meeting with the Bishop's adviser.. We discussed how I had felt about having to go through the process, particularly its intrusive nature. I was able to now say categorically, that having come through it, that my view had changed . Despite everything, it involved, It had been handled as sensitively as possible, given the nature of things being investigated. A change of heart that seems to show me, once again, how God is still active and working in my life.
I said that I had deliberately not told my spouse of the content of the interview as I had felt that her integrity would show through. This had proven to have been the best course to have taken. He was amused by this and said that while not advisable, it had been appropriate in this case.
I was given the opportunity to look again as some of the work I had submitted, but was content with it. I believe that revising something written up to a year ago would not be a true reflection of the journey and discernment process. Leaving it untouched was the best course.
We then discussed a number of other issues, my ongoing engagement with the wider church through the internet. My work in the parish and personalities we know. I mentioned an Intercessions workshop we were to run in our Parish this week with a repeat in July and he asked could he send some people from his parish on it. I said I would inquire and let him know. I am to write a reflection on my participation in this for next month.
We then moved onto the future. He said, that subject to the faculty, I would have to see the Bishop, but he was provisionally (for the second time) booking me on to a Diocesan Panel in September 2011. Following this, he would be running a Pre-BAP preparation in October and again in December, one of which I would be booked to attend one, dependent upon which BAP I was put forward to. He stressed that all decisions were within the Bishop's gift and that I can expect to meet him again before BAP.
All in All, this was a positive outcome. Once again I felt very relaxed during the meeting, sharing jokes and appreciating that the DDO has done so much for me. Taking my case himself, working with me, at times being highly critical, but always completely constructive and encouraging.
What did I get from this meeting:
I found the meeting encouraging and affirming. My state of mind was one of curiosity about where we could go, which was more than satisfied by the outcome. I came away, literally feeling light headed and grateful to God for his work sending the Holy Spirit to facilitate such a productive meeting.
The utter joy of this meeting seems to me to be one where there were three people in the room. Clive and me, but with God central. The Holy Spirit upon us and pouring grace into it. God be praised!
_________________
Where there is hope and love there is life!
I met, yet again, with the DDO this morning. Today, seemed to me and to him, to be a consolidation meeting. The DDO, had previously indicated, that the only thing stopping my moving to the next stage, was the processing of the faculty, this is now well underway.
We took stock of everything I have done, including going over the material submitted for my Portfolio and several reflections that I submitted in response to events that have occurred in the past month.
The DDO was keen to hear about the faculty meeting with the Bishop's adviser.. We discussed how I had felt about having to go through the process, particularly its intrusive nature. I was able to now say categorically, that having come through it, that my view had changed . Despite everything, it involved, It had been handled as sensitively as possible, given the nature of things being investigated. A change of heart that seems to show me, once again, how God is still active and working in my life.
I said that I had deliberately not told my spouse of the content of the interview as I had felt that her integrity would show through. This had proven to have been the best course to have taken. He was amused by this and said that while not advisable, it had been appropriate in this case.
I was given the opportunity to look again as some of the work I had submitted, but was content with it. I believe that revising something written up to a year ago would not be a true reflection of the journey and discernment process. Leaving it untouched was the best course.
We then discussed a number of other issues, my ongoing engagement with the wider church through the internet. My work in the parish and personalities we know. I mentioned an Intercessions workshop we were to run in our Parish this week with a repeat in July and he asked could he send some people from his parish on it. I said I would inquire and let him know. I am to write a reflection on my participation in this for next month.
We then moved onto the future. He said, that subject to the faculty, I would have to see the Bishop, but he was provisionally (for the second time) booking me on to a Diocesan Panel in September 2011. Following this, he would be running a Pre-BAP preparation in October and again in December, one of which I would be booked to attend one, dependent upon which BAP I was put forward to. He stressed that all decisions were within the Bishop's gift and that I can expect to meet him again before BAP.
All in All, this was a positive outcome. Once again I felt very relaxed during the meeting, sharing jokes and appreciating that the DDO has done so much for me. Taking my case himself, working with me, at times being highly critical, but always completely constructive and encouraging.
What did I get from this meeting:
I found the meeting encouraging and affirming. My state of mind was one of curiosity about where we could go, which was more than satisfied by the outcome. I came away, literally feeling light headed and grateful to God for his work sending the Holy Spirit to facilitate such a productive meeting.
The utter joy of this meeting seems to me to be one where there were three people in the room. Clive and me, but with God central. The Holy Spirit upon us and pouring grace into it. God be praised!
_________________
Where there is hope and love there is life!
Thursday, 13 January 2011
Confirmation Service at Parish Church 12th January 2011
Our benefice held a confirmation service at Bridge on Wed 12th Jan 2010. The celebrant was the Bishop of Dover. There were 25 candidates for confirmation (one with Baptism), eleven of whom were adults. The Vicar and curate, , along with a small band formed from young people in the five villages of the benefice, supported the Bishop.
The service was beautiful the Bishop was on the best of form giving a rousing sermon and encouraging both those being confirmed, those supporting them and the whole congregation to as a community to be disciples for Christ. His memorable opening comment at the start of the service was “This is God’s work”, highlighting the importance and significance of the occasion, not just for those being confirmed but for the congregation and wider community.
I found the Bishop’s participatory attitude very refreshing – we were urged to stand for those we were supporting and during the baptism of the candidate at the rear of the church, to leave our pews and to congregate around the font (difficult with such large numbers). The peace was memorable as the bishop seemed to shake the hand of everyone present (his arm must have been sore next morning).
I had not been assigned a formal role prior to the service, but found myself acting as part of the welcome team, handing out orders of service and directing candidates and their families and supporters to the correct place. During the service, I had the privilege of assisting in the distribution of wine on a side Altar with the Vicar.
The service used the 'Baptism of Christ' readings and the hymns ‘Be Thou my Vision’, ‘Be Still for the Presence of God’, ‘What a Faithful God Have I’ and ‘I the Lord of Sea and Sky’ just seemed so apt and appropriate, with music from a small band of players from the church and the organ supplementing, it made the service and singing resound and resonate with me.
I was also wonderful to see the church full, standing room only, with so many family and friends there supporting the candidates. After the service, a reception was held for greetings and meetings with old and new relationships enjoyed with a glass of wine (or orange) and nibbles.
What did I get from this service?
I came away from the service (eventually) feeling invigorated, uplifted and renewed. I had sensed during the service a powerful feeling of the Holy Spirit alongside us and perhaps the excitement of those being confirmed, but a much stronger feel of cohesion and community worship, prayers rising to heaven vibrant, heartfelt and strong. I felt warmed and comfortable and of being where I belonged – worshiping along with the community that has adopted, befriended and encouraged me so much in the past two and a half years. I am privileged to be a part of it and God has been good to me in bringing me here.
The service was beautiful the Bishop was on the best of form giving a rousing sermon and encouraging both those being confirmed, those supporting them and the whole congregation to as a community to be disciples for Christ. His memorable opening comment at the start of the service was “This is God’s work”, highlighting the importance and significance of the occasion, not just for those being confirmed but for the congregation and wider community.
I found the Bishop’s participatory attitude very refreshing – we were urged to stand for those we were supporting and during the baptism of the candidate at the rear of the church, to leave our pews and to congregate around the font (difficult with such large numbers). The peace was memorable as the bishop seemed to shake the hand of everyone present (his arm must have been sore next morning).
I had not been assigned a formal role prior to the service, but found myself acting as part of the welcome team, handing out orders of service and directing candidates and their families and supporters to the correct place. During the service, I had the privilege of assisting in the distribution of wine on a side Altar with the Vicar.
The service used the 'Baptism of Christ' readings and the hymns ‘Be Thou my Vision’, ‘Be Still for the Presence of God’, ‘What a Faithful God Have I’ and ‘I the Lord of Sea and Sky’ just seemed so apt and appropriate, with music from a small band of players from the church and the organ supplementing, it made the service and singing resound and resonate with me.
I was also wonderful to see the church full, standing room only, with so many family and friends there supporting the candidates. After the service, a reception was held for greetings and meetings with old and new relationships enjoyed with a glass of wine (or orange) and nibbles.
What did I get from this service?
I came away from the service (eventually) feeling invigorated, uplifted and renewed. I had sensed during the service a powerful feeling of the Holy Spirit alongside us and perhaps the excitement of those being confirmed, but a much stronger feel of cohesion and community worship, prayers rising to heaven vibrant, heartfelt and strong. I felt warmed and comfortable and of being where I belonged – worshiping along with the community that has adopted, befriended and encouraged me so much in the past two and a half years. I am privileged to be a part of it and God has been good to me in bringing me here.
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
Seventh DDO Interview -- Renewal
I met my DDO on Monday of this week. The last meeting had been challenging to say the least, but this one seemed much more positive. Work that I had submitted last month, was well received and provoked discussion on some aspects, and comments that real evidence was beginning to emerge, that perhaps I might actually not be wasting my, or the churches time in the discernment process.
I found this to be a fruitful and affirming meeting, While much work remains to be done, some developmental, some needing careful reflection and growth as a Christian - but overall, it seemed to be the right place and right time.
Prior to the meeting, I had attended a short retreat and had sought guidance from my SD. Among prayer and reflection, I was blessed with a real sense of inner peace and the conviction that I should just wait on God and his will for this journey will become clear.
I am convinced that the prayers were partially answered, in that the YES or NO question on whether to continue answered itself, when the DDO indicated that we were to continue, without actually asking whether I wished to.
I know that there remains an enormous mountain to climb and much inner baggage to be overcome, but my reality has changed so much on this journey, I can only welcome the challenge as it seems to be one step at a time, inching forward to where God might wish me to be.
I have a task this month involving drafting a pastoral letter and a book to read, relatively peaceful after the turmoil of the last few months. God is good to me, and I am receiving so much support from my Vicar, my SD and Parishioners and family and friends - this is what makes the discernment process so worthwhile. It's not about letting people down or meeting their expectations, it's about seeing how and where I am being called to serve.
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Vocation Day
I attended a vocation day last weekend. The day it self was well organised and contained some really wonderful testimonies from people in forms of ministry on their journey and arriving where they are now.
The Ordained candidate was particularly inspirational in retelling his story as a series of post cards giving snapshots of his journey from Infant Sunday School, through unbelief and a virtual lifetime without God, until prompted by his children attending Sunday School, he discovered God and Christianity and later a vocation. A remarkable journey indeed. With God working throughout and only being acknowledged in Early middle age.
Considering where I am at the moment, waiting for an interview with a DDO, I actually got some direct feedback at the state of the Ordination Process in the Church at the moment, which if delivered in a different manner, might have been considered a discouragement towards offering for Ordained Ministry.
The path to Ordained Ministry is pretty well mapped out in the Ministry Division documentation, but the reality is that the Bishop makes the policy for their diocese and it is variable and each Bishop will have their own ideas and view on the process
Some factors are consistent across all diocese - Discernment via the DDO process, and recommendation for Bishops Assessment Panel and if successful a Recommendation for Training. All stages including each part of the training package require a further recommendation up to and including Ordination itself - so a candidate can be found unsuitable at any stage and basically discontinued.
There appears to be issues with Stipendiary, with age limits applied, which require a candidate to be able to offer 7 years of service at incumbent status before retirement, after Training and Curacy - or it is not cost effective to pay for the training - how many good candidates have fallen through the net due to this?
What was obvious that if you put more candidates forward for training than the number of curacies your diocese can offer - at some stage, someone is going to either not be ordained or will have to scrabble around for a curacy external to their ordaining diocese.
For Non-Stipendiary Ministry and Ordained Local Ministry, while the same constraints are not applied - the reality appears to be, that they might be informally applied within a diocese to save money.
The deployment of Stipendiary and Non-Stipendiary Ministry is National, means that post ordination - they may be sent wherever the Bishop or Province might need them. Even Ordained Local Ministry now means Diocese wide - therefore, those offering for Ordination within a Parish context have no guarantee of serving there - the bishop will deploy them, where they are needed, not where they wish to serve.
The message is to inject a sense of realism into any vocation where Ordained Ministry is discerned as the call - because it is going to be a rocky path, with the possibility of the door being slammed shut at any time, with little or no real choice in where you serve.
Despite all of this - I still feel that the path I am on cannot be just dropped due to a slightly negative message - it is to important to allow that to happen.
So, where and what is to happen - God Only Knows, as I don't.
The Ordained candidate was particularly inspirational in retelling his story as a series of post cards giving snapshots of his journey from Infant Sunday School, through unbelief and a virtual lifetime without God, until prompted by his children attending Sunday School, he discovered God and Christianity and later a vocation. A remarkable journey indeed. With God working throughout and only being acknowledged in Early middle age.
Considering where I am at the moment, waiting for an interview with a DDO, I actually got some direct feedback at the state of the Ordination Process in the Church at the moment, which if delivered in a different manner, might have been considered a discouragement towards offering for Ordained Ministry.
The path to Ordained Ministry is pretty well mapped out in the Ministry Division documentation, but the reality is that the Bishop makes the policy for their diocese and it is variable and each Bishop will have their own ideas and view on the process
Some factors are consistent across all diocese - Discernment via the DDO process, and recommendation for Bishops Assessment Panel and if successful a Recommendation for Training. All stages including each part of the training package require a further recommendation up to and including Ordination itself - so a candidate can be found unsuitable at any stage and basically discontinued.
There appears to be issues with Stipendiary, with age limits applied, which require a candidate to be able to offer 7 years of service at incumbent status before retirement, after Training and Curacy - or it is not cost effective to pay for the training - how many good candidates have fallen through the net due to this?
What was obvious that if you put more candidates forward for training than the number of curacies your diocese can offer - at some stage, someone is going to either not be ordained or will have to scrabble around for a curacy external to their ordaining diocese.
For Non-Stipendiary Ministry and Ordained Local Ministry, while the same constraints are not applied - the reality appears to be, that they might be informally applied within a diocese to save money.
The deployment of Stipendiary and Non-Stipendiary Ministry is National, means that post ordination - they may be sent wherever the Bishop or Province might need them. Even Ordained Local Ministry now means Diocese wide - therefore, those offering for Ordination within a Parish context have no guarantee of serving there - the bishop will deploy them, where they are needed, not where they wish to serve.
The message is to inject a sense of realism into any vocation where Ordained Ministry is discerned as the call - because it is going to be a rocky path, with the possibility of the door being slammed shut at any time, with little or no real choice in where you serve.
Despite all of this - I still feel that the path I am on cannot be just dropped due to a slightly negative message - it is to important to allow that to happen.
So, where and what is to happen - God Only Knows, as I don't.
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Reflection on Vocation
I am testing a Vocation to Ordained Ministry. I have been struggling to understand the call I feel for some months. I have felt drawn to the Permanent Diocanate - which appears to have a context and direction, serving God's people in a number of ways, which Parish Ministry while one option for Ministry may not be what I am called to.
I have listened carefully to how I feel, what is being said to me, both in my Prayers, reflections and quiet times - and when sharing my feelings and thoughts with others. All that I have heard shows that the call can be live - it can change - it can grow - it can shrink - but once felt and heard will not go away.
The process of discernment is underway - I am in preparation with my Vicar as there is so much I need to do, to learn, to grow in knowledge and understanding, it is daunting and a little frightening.
How will I cope, when I struggle now - at the early stages, at the start. I pray for the strength and grace to move forward and I know that others sharing my journey pray for my Vocation as well - but still I doubt myself, I doubt my worthiness. I have confidence that if I stay on track God will provide - but my human weakness is there all of the time - How do I overcome it?
I am now seeking Spiritual Direction which I pray will allow me to resolve some of these issues and to move forward to follow where God is leading me.
I have listened carefully to how I feel, what is being said to me, both in my Prayers, reflections and quiet times - and when sharing my feelings and thoughts with others. All that I have heard shows that the call can be live - it can change - it can grow - it can shrink - but once felt and heard will not go away.
The process of discernment is underway - I am in preparation with my Vicar as there is so much I need to do, to learn, to grow in knowledge and understanding, it is daunting and a little frightening.
How will I cope, when I struggle now - at the early stages, at the start. I pray for the strength and grace to move forward and I know that others sharing my journey pray for my Vocation as well - but still I doubt myself, I doubt my worthiness. I have confidence that if I stay on track God will provide - but my human weakness is there all of the time - How do I overcome it?
I am now seeking Spiritual Direction which I pray will allow me to resolve some of these issues and to move forward to follow where God is leading me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)