I met my DDO on Monday of this week. The last meeting had been challenging to say the least, but this one seemed much more positive. Work that I had submitted last month, was well received and provoked discussion on some aspects, and comments that real evidence was beginning to emerge, that perhaps I might actually not be wasting my, or the churches time in the discernment process.
I found this to be a fruitful and affirming meeting, While much work remains to be done, some developmental, some needing careful reflection and growth as a Christian - but overall, it seemed to be the right place and right time.
Prior to the meeting, I had attended a short retreat and had sought guidance from my SD. Among prayer and reflection, I was blessed with a real sense of inner peace and the conviction that I should just wait on God and his will for this journey will become clear.
I am convinced that the prayers were partially answered, in that the YES or NO question on whether to continue answered itself, when the DDO indicated that we were to continue, without actually asking whether I wished to.
I know that there remains an enormous mountain to climb and much inner baggage to be overcome, but my reality has changed so much on this journey, I can only welcome the challenge as it seems to be one step at a time, inching forward to where God might wish me to be.
I have a task this month involving drafting a pastoral letter and a book to read, relatively peaceful after the turmoil of the last few months. God is good to me, and I am receiving so much support from my Vicar, my SD and Parishioners and family and friends - this is what makes the discernment process so worthwhile. It's not about letting people down or meeting their expectations, it's about seeing how and where I am being called to serve.
