I am testing a Vocation to Ordained Ministry. I have been struggling to understand the call I feel for some months. I have felt drawn to the Permanent Diocanate - which appears to have a context and direction, serving God's people in a number of ways, which Parish Ministry while one option for Ministry may not be what I am called to.
I have listened carefully to how I feel, what is being said to me, both in my Prayers, reflections and quiet times - and when sharing my feelings and thoughts with others. All that I have heard shows that the call can be live - it can change - it can grow - it can shrink - but once felt and heard will not go away.
The process of discernment is underway - I am in preparation with my Vicar as there is so much I need to do, to learn, to grow in knowledge and understanding, it is daunting and a little frightening.
How will I cope, when I struggle now - at the early stages, at the start. I pray for the strength and grace to move forward and I know that others sharing my journey pray for my Vocation as well - but still I doubt myself, I doubt my worthiness. I have confidence that if I stay on track God will provide - but my human weakness is there all of the time - How do I overcome it?
I am now seeking Spiritual Direction which I pray will allow me to resolve some of these issues and to move forward to follow where God is leading me.
oh yes, human weakness, a common feeling indeed. I come against this all the time, feeling inadequate. In those moments I spend time on my spirituality and prayer life, speak to others, pray and meditate and fill myself with the Holy Spirit. what I have learned is that it's our doubt that makes us the people needed for our calling, it's our doubt that makes us human and as God designed. with prayers
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