It's a couple of months since I posted here. I have been pretty busy with lots of different things, some family related but in the main church or vocation related.
I had a third meeting with the DDO last month, which again was positive and allowed a pretty two way conversation, with my questions being answered very well. Each meeting gives me more insight and more confidence in both the DDO and the system for selection, which I had been negative about, but I can now see much more the realism that is needed and central to the process.
It is not me testing a vocation, but God and the Church together. I feel that God is pointing me in a certain direction, with the road map a little fuzzy - the DDO is my guide and mentor who is willing me to demonstrate the potential necessary to progress, but is also prepared to act if potential is not being displayed and growth being shown.
One thing I have really learned in this process it to read carefully the criteria and the tasks being asked. In my ignorance or perhaps laziness I have twice gone of on a red herring when preparing and writing essays - only to discover that I had actually got it totally wrong. I have also discovered a weakness in my essay writing skills and have been fortunate to have been given some help from an English teacher to improve them. Going back to basics is a salutary experience - it reminds us of how much we learn and forget. All of this I had done at school in the 1960's, but generally disregarded as obsolete and not important in my working life. Now the priority is to get it right and first time.
The second thing I have learned is the importance of proper reflection on things that happen, how they happen, what I did during them, and what I have learned from the experience. Keeping my journal upto date is important to allow me to look back on situations and consider how I could have dealt with them better.
Spiritual Direction is another area where I have found real support and encouragement, but have also on occasion been in a rocky place and disappointed my SD. He has made it clear that I am not doing myself a service with missing out on things or procrastination - I am only disappointing God, who is calling me to make the most of those inherent gifts given to me freely. I see that I need to seize every opportunity and make the best of it.
Otherwise life continues. Today is a lazy Bank Holiday with a lot to do this week with my church in terms of ministry, training, interviewing potential candidate for a role in the Parish and revision and more english tuition.
Life is great and God is Greater. Thanks be to God for all of this which is helping me to grow and to develop as a Christian and to be fully who he knows I can be.
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