Thoughtful Service

I was thinking about service, in the sense of ministry this week.  I had a small disappointment in that a meeting with a DDO was not going to happen as early as anticipated.  But on the same day, I had the privilege of taking Holy Communion to a Care Home, which I have been involved with for several months.  The is a precious ministry and one which I find very affirming both for those we serve - who despite their age, are bright, alert and very involved, their limitations, in the main, being purely physical.  

During the service, I realised that this is a fulfilling part of ministry, but I feel called to do so much more.  I am now involved in doing intercessions on a rota and have supported worship and even led a Remembrance Service last November.  In all of this, part of my Parish Placement, I am unlicensed and therefore, doing it under supervision.  

So the delay in seeing a DDO, effected me more than I had thought and I had a few hours of self doubt and human weakness, wondering whether it was just me, and was I really upto the role and this was perhaps a subtle way of letting me down gently.   However, after some reflection (and chats and communications with others) I saw that I was really over reacting and had forgotton the key thing - where is God in this, and what is his will?

I forgot momentarily I suppose that he knows what he wishes me to do, but will only let me know when he feels I am ready.  I can feel as ready as I like, but until He is ready, it is for nothing. 

So back to stability and a little common sense.   A few prayers down the line I feel even better, so patience, waiting and prayer meanwhile serving where and how I can and worshipping wherever I can meet God and others in communion with him or even not, is the way forward.

God works so wonderfully, he speaks in so many ways and perhaps tests us a little - be he has all the answers, we just need to wait for him to reveal them.