Easter 2021

 Easter this year has been a powerful experience, something I haven't felt for a few years, not that Easter and Passiontide hasn't  been special, but perhaps having to miss the physical presence and experience in Church last year due to lockdown, this years participation has seemed more powerful and intense, something of a surprise to my perhaps locked down, jaded mentality.

In the last year having to be locked down and excluded from my in-person Reader Ministry has had a huge impact on how I have lived for the past few years since I became an Anglican in 2008, and particularly since my training for and involvement in active ministry.  

 I was unable to give as I had wanted, and than in July I was presented with a new, life changing situation when my spouse suffered a stroke, which I witnessed and reacted to on auto pilot, phoning 999 for an Ambulance, because I had recognised the classic signs.  

The golden hours were there, she was in an acute stroke unit within an hour and given the treatment which gave her the best prospect of recovery.  But I had initially face the prospect of losing her, and than, thank God, knowing she would recover, but would be changed in ways, that would impact her ability to function as he had enjoyed previously.  

Cutting a long story short, she has made a really good recovery, and I am attributing that to her own inner strength and determination and a bit to the prayers and lament that I offered and for the many prayers of others for her recovery.  God, I am sure was involved in the healing.   She is left with a ban on driving, and some right side weakness and a very slight speech impediment, but both of these are improving with time.  She went back to work in November for two days a week, was promptly furloughed and has only resumed work this past week.

I was able to resume in Church presence in October, and have been able to support the ministry team in Church consistently every since, despite the closure for two months after the post-Christmas lockdown, we kept streaming services from Church, rather than from the Vicarage.

I am a fan of Reflective practice, I just with that I was better at it. I normally write notes in a journal, which record what is going on, how I am feeling and what I am praying or hoping for.  Sharing some of this can be an emotional experience, so I am quite sparing in how I share, Apart from this blog.

This leads me back to Easter 2021.  This year, we have been vaccinated, which I know we are fortunate to have, when so many have not, but also it isn't a passport to relax and return to normal.  It has been an Easter and Passiontide like nothing I have experienced before.  We had a covidsafe Palm Sunday, Holy week provided Stations of the Cross, led completely differently in a contemplative service, streamed online, Maundy Thursday a BCP Holy Communion with the Passion Gospel and a Liturgy of Maundy Thursday, where I had the privilege of having my feet washed by the Vicar and was permitted to preach. We were unable to hold the vigil or watch, due to restrictions and guidance. 

Than today, the Liturgy of Good Friday, much stripped back.  One hour of the liturgy with communion and again the Passion Gospel. 

Somehow, all of this has been intense in a way that as I said, I haven't really experienced since the early days of returning to faith and becoming an Anglican, when I felt excitement as I experienced the seasons of the year, while at the same time, discerning a vocation, which eventually, after twists and turns ended up in Reader Ministry.  Somewhere along the way, perhaps I allowed it to get all to familiar and because a bit of a habit, rather than a experience of power and grace.  

I have to thank God and the Holy Spirit for that.  After the disappointment of 2020, after the experience of enforced lockdown, after the experience of trauma and anxiety following the stroke, something changed at the start of Lent, something clicked into place.  I attribute that to many influences, but chiefly to God's Grace, which has healed, transformed and mended a shaky, routine faith and revived it to the excitement of that first experience of faith in 2008.  Thanks be to God.

Public Protest in a Pandemic

 It seems that Public Protest is illegal under the current lockdown rules. So people have been defying the rules for a variety of reasons. Some are against lockdown, some are vaccination deniers or conspiracy theorists, others such as the peaceful turnout by women at Clapham Common, were motivated by the sense of how dangerous it is for women on our streets, following the murder of Sarah Everard.

Whether small or large turnouts of large gatherings of people for protest or commemoration are inevitably a vector for transmission of the virus, and people appear to be prepared to break the law for their cause, however unrepresentative it is.

The protests against the terms of the Police and Crime Bill going through Parliament at the moment in Bristol were a case in point. Even the peaceful parts of that protest were against the law, but the case of where people determined to use that cause as an opportunity for violence and attacks on the Police and Property are well known, which is why the government seem to want to criminalize any form of protest, which has not been approved by local authorities or police.

People are calling the terms of the proposed legislation as a challenge to their freedoms of free speech, of the right to assemble for a protest, and a way of introducing a "Police State". I haven't studied the proposals in any detail, but it seems to me that the way to "kill the bill" the mantra of Saturdays protesters is by exercising their right to lobby their MP's to vote against it. In other words, following the democratic process, including peaceful protest, when it is safe to do so, not in the middle of a pandemic.

Surely we all feel a grievance sometimes when restrictions are imposed on our freedom to do just as we like, but we have a responsibility to observe those restrictions for the protection of ourselves and others. We have a duty of care for each others, and we disregard this at our and others peril. Surely the figures of deaths so far and those hospitalised with severe, life affecting long term conditions should be evidence enough for us to stick to the lawful pursuits, but so many don't see it that way.

I could ask whatever happened to the "British Commons ense and stoicism"? perhaps it is a well meaning myth and the "Spirit of the Blitz" never existed?

I just pray that the population at large will see sense and stop these sort of protests until it is safe to do so, legally and for the right reasons. 

Keeping the Sabbath Holy

 Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy is one of the 10 Commandments.  I am particularly drawn to the extended text of the Prayer Book commandment:

“Six days shalt thou labour, and do all that thou hast to do; but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God. In it thou shalt do no manner of work, thou, and thy son, and thy daughter, thy man-servant, and thy maid-servant, thy cattle, and the stranger that is within thy gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the seventh day, and hallowed it”.

It is obvious that we work in some way or other and welcome a day of rest on the Sabbath, although if you are in ministry of any sort, including the Choir, the Sabbath may not feel like a day of rest, as believe it or not, those working to prepare for worship will have worked hard to prepare it beforehand, rather than just playing it off the cuff and hoping for the best.

For many of us these words  will be well outside our comfort zone. For instance, how many of us have a man-servant or maid-servant (I wish) and unless we are farmers, we don’t have many cattle in Urban, Belvedere (Unless you know different of course).  But the sentence I want to concentrate on is “the stranger that is within they gates”.

I suspect that many of us will take this to mean someone we don’t know, someone newly arrived in our neighbourhood, someone perhaps of a different racial, ethnic, religious or cultural background to ours, but I think that that conclusion is pretty stereo typed. 

If you look around Church (when we are in it) and we meet each other wearing masks and socially distanced, we will recognise each other if we know each other well enough, even by sight, even if we have forgotten, for a moment or two, their name.   But are we kidding ourselves, do we really know them well?

No doubt we think that we  are heeding that other greatest commandment about “loving our neighbour as ourself” but how can we truly obey  that essential second greatest commandment if  we don’t really know them?

 If we haven’t made the time to speak to them, to socialise with them or to have shared our lives with them wider than the short meeting in Church on a Sunday, if we have not engaged enough to know their full back story, about them and their family and in return, shared our story with them.

Without that sort of engagement how can we truly say that we are obeying the commandment?

Of course, not everyone feels confident to engage in the way described, there might be inhibitions about meeting people in that way. That  famous “British Reserve” even “Stiff Upper Lip” might be getting in the way of our being truly able to assent to the commandment,  And of course, we are hesitant to invade peoples personal privacy or space, or perhaps unsure of ourselves, not wanting to be that “nosy neighbour” poking their nose in where not wanted, not wanting to be rebuffed, not wanting to be embarrassed.

But if we hesitate to commit to extend our network of fellowship in Christ, perhaps those I write off, share most of those same traits or inhibitions, perhaps waiting for the other to hold out the hand or breaking the ice and offering the hand of Christ in welcome, love and friendship and fellowship that we need to both build our gathered community of God, but also in building his Kingdom.

Might I suggest something quite obvious?   The idea of the “stranger within our Gates” goes back to that “Ministry of Welcome” that is portrayed in the commandment.  It is an invitation for us to look beyond ourselves, to see each other, including the “stranger” as someone created in God’s image as we are, someone who we need to invite into our community, our lives, not just in a shared communal act of worship (though that is central to what we do and who we are as people of God), but as friends, as family, as a fellow member of God’s people, just like us, with all or flaws, strengths and weaknesses and by doing this, we build the Body of Christ, here in Belvedere  and his Kingdom wider in the world.  I for one know I have more to do in this respect.

 

How about you?                                                                                                                              

Improvisation for Worship

 I'm not sure how often it has happened.  

You are waiting in Church for a locum Priest to arrive to take your mid-week BCP service, when 10 minutes before the start you get a call to say that they are unwell and won't be here.  In the meantime the first members of the congregation are sitting in the Pews, the Altar is laid up, the candles are lit and you have a problem.

You are in vacancy, your retired Priest is away, you don't have permission to lead a service of Communion by Extension, and not enough consecrated hosts in the home communion kits to cover those expected anyway and no time to find a stand in at 10 minutes notice.

So, saying a quick thank you to the unattending Priest, you need to make a decision. What can you do?

Cancel - but people are expecting to worship?

Go straight to the coffee?

Or lead a Service of the Word - but those coming are BCP worshipers in the main?

You have nothing prepared, but you happen to notice the pile of the "Green, Shorter BCP" on a table waiting to be collected by the church you are donating them to.  

The light bulb "Why Not BCP Morning Prayer"?  

You can use the normal days readings, you have enough books for everyone. So you go for it.

You announce that due to the absence of the Priest Holy Communion is now not an option, but we will be saying Morning Prayer together from the Green Books and you would lead.  If anyone felt like they would like to leave as the service wasn't the one advertised, please feel free to do so.  But thankfully nobody does.

The saving grace for you is your familiarity with the BCP, and that of those in church, more used to Holy Communion or Evensong. One or two not used to using the Prayer Book are comfortable, once they realise it is a set format and they will be led by the Minister through the service and their responses are laid out in front of them.

So you proceed and it all goes well. The person due to read the Epistle reads it, you read the Gospel and tell those present that you will not give them a sermon, but spend five short minutes explaining one or two aspects of the readings and the relationship between them.

The service proceeds to the end and you go to the back of church as people leave and are delighted that many of them are more than happy that they could still worship without a Priest present and use a form of worship, which is over 450 years old and despite the language, were able to feel part of it all.

This is something that happened at my parish several years ago, and I thought that it might be a one off episode, but other share the experience of the times when someone didn't turn up and as a Church Warden they'd had to lead Morning or Evening prayer themselves.  

I was glad that my training as a LLM had been used for the purpose it was intended, and now tomorrow, I find myself doing something similar, due to illness and non-availability of a celebrant, but at least I have had notice, have had time to prepare a specific OOS (The Green Books are long gone) for it and a sermon that I was going to preach at the service of Holy Communion.

Somehow this is what my calling is. To support those who lead, but being prepared to step in when required, not to their role, but an alternative leadership role as a Licensed Minister in the Church of God.

And I thank God for calling me to this role, for giving me the skills and knowledge to cope and to fulfill that role and the confidence to immediately step up to the plate when needed.

Stroke

I had a shock on 6th July when my spouse suffered a stroke. Fortunately I was there when it happened and recognising the signs, I dialed 999 even before I went to her aid (she had fallen). The Ambulance arrived within 10 minutes and she was in a Stroke unit within 30.  She was within the time frame for administration of the clott busting drug, which limited the damage done, but it was still substantial.

As a left brain stroke, her right side was affected, which also involves some parts that control speech and swallowing. She is right handed so the right arm and side are weaker as a result.

After three days in the acute care unit, she was transferred to a local stroke unit for our area, where she underwent three weeks of rehabilitation.

For me, the effect was one of great anxiety, as due to the Covid19 restrictions I had to watch the Ambulance leave without me and I was unable to go to the hospital to visit or to be with her.  Fortunately, the Dr who was treating her in the ACU rang me to confirm the diagnosis and to tell me what the initial assessment was.  Due to the quick actions I took, she had been given a change of making a good recovery, longer term.

I recall as she was being taken into the ambulance, she insisted (through slurred speech) I want my phone and I grabbed it and the charger and gave it to her.

This enabled her within two days to at least ring me to ask for things, It was difficult to understand her, but I got the gist, she needed clothes, some personal stuff and the likes of washing and shower stuff. I was permitted to pack a bag and deliver it to the ACU for her, with additional things over the next two days.  After her transfer to the rehab stroke unit I was able to visit the ward, but not to enter, but to hand over the essentials she needed and collect items for laundry.

In the meantime, I had activated the video call using Google Duo, which we had activated on both her and my smartphones just a few days before her stroke.  This allowed us to call each other daily. We had found that pure audio calls had caused difficulty for her.  She had been diagnosed some years ago with hearing loss of 50 per cent in both ears, and the stroke had caused a temporary worsening of this condition, she just could not hear very well.  Video though was a revelation. She had been compensating for the hearing loss by being able to lip sync, now she could see my mouth, she was able to know what I was saying, while I could understand her better as her speech therapy kicked in and day by day, she got better. 

Thanks to her personal determination her rehabilitation in hospital went well and after 24 days, she was assessed as able to return home, with continuing care from community specialists and she came home on the 30th of July.  Too say that I was overjoyed is an understatement.  We have been married for 32 years, and while we had been apart before for periods of working away, never had we been apart for so long. Yes, she had been in hospital before for operations on a dodgy sinus and two bouts of pneumonia, but I had been able to visit and see her. I had heard of others suffering by the artificial separation caused by the virus, many of whom had been denied access to family members or friends due to virus restrictions, having to grieve and even some had been unable to attend the funeral of a much loved family member.   I shared in a small way, their experience, although, I knew from the outset that we would eventually be reunited.  

Now she is home, she had her first contact within 24 hours with the community care team of therapists and her first assessment visit within 48 hours yesterday.  We can now expect intensive, every other day visits for the next two weeks, with then a less intensive regime for the following four weeks.

Our shared experience has been traumatic, but also hope filled. So many people have been praying for us both, so many have stepped up to support us to make unqualified offers of help, that it is a positive sign for me that people are instinctively reaching out to support others, a characteristic of their humanity, whether or not they share our Christian Faith.  Some Clergy friends, my Spiritual Director and many others outside our family and friends circle has helped and supported us. Even some that we don't know, but have heard of J's condition have contacted us with prayers and offers of help.  I have been stopped on the street by people that I don't know, but who know J offering their support for her and for me.  Surely, the portrayal in the media of some being heartless is certainly misguided and does a disservice to people.  In their view the only news is the bad, and often the unsung silent, quiet work of many is ignored.

The care that J had from the NHS has been first class following the stroke, which we are thankful for, and the ongoing care will be appreciated.  But, we are only to aware that the warning signs of the potential for a stroke, evident from an A&E admission 3 days before the stroke and a follow up visit for scans and tests the day before the stroke were not acted on by those she saw.  This is something to be addressed in the future, for now we need to concentrate on J's rehabilitation and restoration to whatever new normal health wise will be for her.

One of the personal effects for me were that when seeking to pray for her, the contemporary prayers and resources didn't really appeal. I resorted to the words of the Book of Common prayer, including the traditional language Psalms for my lamentation, because that is what and how I felt, and perhaps what I needed to pray for healing and wholeness for J.

Now, I am returning to the more modern forms of language, particularly a catholic prayer book, which seem to suit how I now feel.  Gratitude to God for his healing and mercy for J, and also the process of healing my spirit as I go forward.  Thanks be to God.

Lent and Ash Wednesday

We are now in to Lent, the season of Reflective Penitence.  At our Ashing Service yesterday, I was privileged for the first time ever to do the Ashing along side my Vicar.  Having spent a life time of being "done to" it was something new, and a sign of the real collaborative ministry that Simon employs, his inclusive mode of work is bearing fruit among our people, with people offering to serve in new roles for them and an increase in people signing up for our Lent Course.

I am in a position where my ministry has blossomed under his incumbency, given that there are 40 years between us, it is a sign that he values what few gifts that I possess, including regular preaching slots in services, but also pastoral visiting to take home communion and anointing the sick at times, when he isn't available.

He demonstrates how in church leadership, collaborative leadership isn't just a notion, it is doing God's work in action.  Also, he has a young family in the Vicarage, the first time in three previous incumbencies where young families were not about, this is bearing fruit in a different way, as more families are coming for Baptism and than making a commitment to stay and join in.

When the focus of the church appears to be growth using innovative methods of building new congregations, Simon demonstrates that a concentration of pastoral, caring, welcoming ministry, still has a place. We are growing, one family at a time and also many individuals who "come and see" in response to invitations from members of the church to friends or those that they meet and express their faith and the good news of the Gospel to.

This Lent, we will have new people joining us, and this year we also have six marriages booked so far, which is four more than the past five years.   And funerals in church, rather than at the Crem are rising.  We now have many more in church, than at the crem, sometimes two or three in a week.

Being so busy is a blessing, but also a source of stress, I tire easily these days, so need to pace myself, I also urge Simon to do the same.  But we have never been busier, so I am not complaining, just thankful that God is working so hard in our community.

I look forward to more of the same. Thanks be to God.

Parliament

Events in Parliament on Saturday and continuing this week are both confusing and worrying.

There appears to be so many "vested interests" employed that I no longer know who believes what and what is the best way forward for the UK or Europe. The rest of the world must be looking on in amazement at the mess we have managed to make of our Governance and reputation in the past three years or so.

The way forward is complicated by a determination by Government to force legislation through, while various shades of opposition want varying things from a General Election, to a complete abolition of Brexit and to continue in the EU as if we had never decided to leave.

We might have another referendum, or a general election or both or none, nothing to help the public to voice their thoughts or frustration apart from taking to the streets.

Division between people, nations and those people from Europe settled here, who no longer feel welcome. No wonder many people are feeling alienated from all politics.

I feel that a General Election is needed, whether or not it results in a hung parliament. It seems to me that having a Government of National Coalition might be a simpler way forward. But of course the vested interests won't allow that. And the last coalition gave us Austerity, The bedroom tax and Universal Credit. All of which has increased poverty, homelessness and as always with these things, made the poor suffer the most.

I note the number of MP's who have decided that they have had enough and will leave at the next General Election, no longer wanting to be party to the shambles that is the current Parliament. Our local MP (Labour) who has served us well for 15 years is standing down, which we are sad about. She has been a faithful constituency MP and responsible for initiatives locally, alongside the Council to make life a bit easier for many of us.

We need strong, compassionate government, not the self serving policies coming from the current parties in power or opposition. I pray that we might actually have that soon.