Memorial Services

Today our Parish Church is to hold a Memorial Service for someone who died and whose funeral took place abroad.  Families members living locally, have decided that his life should be commemorated formally with a Christian Service.  So, here we go.


Some years ago, my sole surviving relative from my Paternal line, died at the age of 92, a good age.

He, like his siblings had been raised as a Catholic, but his experiences in WW2 had caused him to lose faith in Organised religion,  but not his belief in God.  His family, however, when it came to his funeral denied that he was a Christian, although everything about his personal life style, spoke loudly of him abiding by Christian ethics and beliefs - he just didn't attend any Church.

I had got to know him well in his later years, and we'd often discussed his faith, which he held, but he also thought that because of the people he had killed during the course of his army service, that God wouldn't forgive him, no matter how much he repented.   This led to many discussions about the nature of God's infinite mercy and forgiveness, and I sought to reassure him that he was forgiven, even if he still carried a burden of guilt.

In my mind, he was clearly a Christian and the secular funeral planned and held with a Civil Celebrant would not and was not appropriate.   His partner of some 35 years was sorely distressed by this, but as they were unmarried in the eyes of the law, her wishes carried no weiight.

The funeral was dismal, devoid of hope and full of plaitudest, which no doubt comforted some, but comfort without hope for the new life, renewed in Jesus Christ was missing and the service felt empty and forlorn.

I decided that a Memorial Service for his Partner and ourselves would be appropriate and might bring us some closure.   This was arranged and held in our own parish church, without the faith deniers relatives, but with his partner.   It felt the right things to do, and enabled him to be remembers as a good Christian, who'd lived his life as one, without the comfort and support of his Church.

So, today's memorial service will be for me, a reminder that not all people who are not in church, are living a secular life.  Yes, Church is part of our Christian fellowship and community, our corporate prayer and worship are central to this, but some are unable to share (like my Uncle).  Today's family will be welcomed and comforted as if the deceased were present, albeit, his Ashes will be.  Afterwards, it is planned to inter his ashes in our memorial garden, a whole different service, for another day.

Memorial services are important for those unable to attend a funeral, they assist the grieving process and provide the same hope as a Christian funeral in the renewal of life among the Saints and in company with the living, left behind.

I pray that it goes well.