This Is Not the New Normal just yet

 Today was auspicious for the media portraying the relaxation of Covid Restrictions as some sort of freedom from prison.  BBC Breakfast featured a reporter flying off to the Algarve with others, taking the opportunity presented by the relaxations to travel to a country, which still have the virus, but is judged to be safe for tourists.  Something which could change overnight leaving people either stranded or rushing home to avoid quarantine.

Quarantine or self isolation, however you describe it is the most unpopular of the tools employed to fight the virus, alongside the closure of virtually everything that we value in our society, sporadically since March 2020. 

 It is inevitable in my view, that the there will be an increase in new infections with consequences for the NHS, but the hope is that the high level of vaccinations will at least prevent the worst that could happen, serious illness or death.  We can only judge that with hind sight as so far, as I know, the Government doesn't have a "Seer" who can accurately predict these things, so it is a best guess based on a risk assessment and the law of probabilities, which can be a fickle thing.

I don't begrudge those who feel relief at the relaxation of measure and choose to do things that I would consider risky (I won't be hugging anyone apart from my spouse anytime soon). They are entitled to behave as the choose, as long as their actions do not harm others, whether unintentional or otherwise. 

I have hope that we as a family can meet (at a distance) but we won't be popping in and out of each others homes anytime soon. Just being able to see and talk to them face to face, without a mask will be enough for now.  The have vulnerable members as do we.  Both of us are among the older generation, I am diabetic, my spouse had a stroke last year, which with her pre-existing conditions make her very vulnerable indeed.  We will need time, space and evidence that we can do these things safely before we relax our guard.

The thing lots of people is ignoring is that the virus is still alive, growing and spreading, with increasingly different and possible more dangerous variations.  We are told that we will learn to live with it, with vaccines being updated as needed, just like the annual Flue Jab.  That the virus will become another one to catch, like the measles or chicken pox (or Shingles) or the Flue. We can vaccinate it all away.

But more recent evidence has emerged that vaccination denial is an issue.  Many parents who left their children unvaccinated after the MMR (Mumps, Measles and Rubella) scandals in the past 20-30 years means that we have a hidden rump of vulnerable adults now, who could catch anyone of those diseases and potentially become seriously ill or even die.  They haven't been got rid of like Small pox, but are there in the background, like Coronavirus, waiting for a victim to infect.

We don't hear much about it, until a story hits the media of an individual who has become seriously ill or died from one of those infections that we all forgot had been sorted years ago.

So the anti-vax people who are currently actively spreading their misinformation need to take a pause. They have the choice or not to accept vaccination, but seeking to manipulate public opinion through their misleading and outright lies is something they should be held to account for - soon I hope.

Providing Comprehensive Mental Health and General Healthcare Services in the Pandemic

 There is a huge amount of Evidence on how the Mental Health of individuals has been impacted by the Pandemic and the lockdowns over the past 15 months in the UK and world wide.  In the UK, the Cinderella service in the NHS, Mental Health resources notoriously underfunded for years, having been shrunk during the tenure of various governments over the last 40 to 50 years, found themselves on the back foot.  

Early on in the pandemic numerous charities who provide services to meet mental health needs in the UK, warned of a huge increase in demand for their services, alongside the demand on the NHS which increased quickly to unmanageable proportions, particularly as many mental health services had been impacted by demands of virus managements on resources.   

The government stepped in with a lot of new funding to increase service availability in both the NHS and Charitable and Private services, but it remains evident that mental health services, particularly talking therapies have waiting lists of months or years in some sectors.  Someone who presents with an urgent need, will face delays at the least or a complete non-availability of services locally, being expected to travel long distances to access those services, when they are at their most vulnerable.

That government and local public health authorities have recognised the lead has led to an explosion of "Self Help" services and advice, provided free, online to service users.  These are aimed more widely than those exhibiting or presenting with symptoms, but the for the wider mental health well being of those newly affected, those isolating, the more elderly and vulnerable who might have never needed such services in the past.

There is also the impact of  dealing with the demands of the virus across the NHS and health service providers, which it is believed will leave a lasting mental health harm for years to come.

Some simple examples are those living in care homes who have been deprived of person to person contact with family and friends for well over a year.  Many suffering from dementia have gone downhill due to the lack of such contact, which has left them and their families desperate and disappointed.

Those who have been bereaved by the virus, who have been unable to be with their loved ones during their last hours and than, have had to put up with funeral arrangements reduced to a minimum for public protection.  This is storing up huge issues for them in the future.  One friend, who was bereaved recently, is in a waiting list of at least three months for access to bereavement counselling from a national charity.  Informal support is in place from friends and family, but proper support from an independent counselling service is suggested as the preferred method of support and family and friends are to close to be objective.

I doubt if the challenges of delivering services as the rate expected before the pandemic can be effectively calculated, the scale of the problems being so huge and wide spread.  But we are constantly being told that waiting lists have doubled for everything except emergency treatment, with projected trebling of demand and waiting lists stretching as far as two years for routine scheduled surgery or treatment. 

One of the biggest impacts has been on cancer services. While a limited number of treatments have continued to be available, they tend to be in specialist cancer centres, not in the mainstream hospitals as is the norm.  The other recognised issue is the inability to refer any possible cases for investigation. I believe that Oncology specialists are seeing less than one third of the normal cases expected to present annually.  There is hope for cancer sufferers as the NHS becomes less burdened with covid cases, some routine services for cancer will reopen as a priority.

Last July my spouse suffered a stroke. I managed to get her emergency care very quickly, but having been taken to an Acute Neuro unit, she was transferred after three days to another hospital as we were supposedly in different CCG groups from the Acute Stroke Unit. The acute unit was closer to home and had its own Rehab Unit, but she was sent 24 miles to a hospital much further from home than needed due to the stroke of a budget holders pen.  This caused her (and me) considerable distress as I had further to travel to take her the necessary items she needed for a prolonged stay, even though I could not actually visit her.  Fortunately she was able to come home after 27 days in the hospital and the after care at home from our local Neuro unit was excellent.   I thank God that prayers were answered as she was fit enough to return to work by November on a reduced hours, adapted workplace environment. Ongoing she has surrendered her driving licence as the conditions for its return are quite difficult and means engaging with GP, Consultants and having a driving assessment (driving test) which she is reluctant to undergo.  That is a loss for her of her independence.  Needing me to drive her to work and collect her afterwards.  How many others have lost their former independence due to the pandemic conditions?

We can only hope that things will get better soon, but continue to be careful, observing "Hands, Face, Space" for a considerable time to come.

Easter 2021

 Easter this year has been a powerful experience, something I haven't felt for a few years, not that Easter and Passiontide hasn't  been special, but perhaps having to miss the physical presence and experience in Church last year due to lockdown, this years participation has seemed more powerful and intense, something of a surprise to my perhaps locked down, jaded mentality.

In the last year having to be locked down and excluded from my in-person Reader Ministry has had a huge impact on how I have lived for the past few years since I became an Anglican in 2008, and particularly since my training for and involvement in active ministry.  

 I was unable to give as I had wanted, and than in July I was presented with a new, life changing situation when my spouse suffered a stroke, which I witnessed and reacted to on auto pilot, phoning 999 for an Ambulance, because I had recognised the classic signs.  

The golden hours were there, she was in an acute stroke unit within an hour and given the treatment which gave her the best prospect of recovery.  But I had initially face the prospect of losing her, and than, thank God, knowing she would recover, but would be changed in ways, that would impact her ability to function as he had enjoyed previously.  

Cutting a long story short, she has made a really good recovery, and I am attributing that to her own inner strength and determination and a bit to the prayers and lament that I offered and for the many prayers of others for her recovery.  God, I am sure was involved in the healing.   She is left with a ban on driving, and some right side weakness and a very slight speech impediment, but both of these are improving with time.  She went back to work in November for two days a week, was promptly furloughed and has only resumed work this past week.

I was able to resume in Church presence in October, and have been able to support the ministry team in Church consistently every since, despite the closure for two months after the post-Christmas lockdown, we kept streaming services from Church, rather than from the Vicarage.

I am a fan of Reflective practice, I just with that I was better at it. I normally write notes in a journal, which record what is going on, how I am feeling and what I am praying or hoping for.  Sharing some of this can be an emotional experience, so I am quite sparing in how I share, Apart from this blog.

This leads me back to Easter 2021.  This year, we have been vaccinated, which I know we are fortunate to have, when so many have not, but also it isn't a passport to relax and return to normal.  It has been an Easter and Passiontide like nothing I have experienced before.  We had a covidsafe Palm Sunday, Holy week provided Stations of the Cross, led completely differently in a contemplative service, streamed online, Maundy Thursday a BCP Holy Communion with the Passion Gospel and a Liturgy of Maundy Thursday, where I had the privilege of having my feet washed by the Vicar and was permitted to preach. We were unable to hold the vigil or watch, due to restrictions and guidance. 

Than today, the Liturgy of Good Friday, much stripped back.  One hour of the liturgy with communion and again the Passion Gospel. 

Somehow, all of this has been intense in a way that as I said, I haven't really experienced since the early days of returning to faith and becoming an Anglican, when I felt excitement as I experienced the seasons of the year, while at the same time, discerning a vocation, which eventually, after twists and turns ended up in Reader Ministry.  Somewhere along the way, perhaps I allowed it to get all to familiar and because a bit of a habit, rather than a experience of power and grace.  

I have to thank God and the Holy Spirit for that.  After the disappointment of 2020, after the experience of enforced lockdown, after the experience of trauma and anxiety following the stroke, something changed at the start of Lent, something clicked into place.  I attribute that to many influences, but chiefly to God's Grace, which has healed, transformed and mended a shaky, routine faith and revived it to the excitement of that first experience of faith in 2008.  Thanks be to God.

Public Protest in a Pandemic

 It seems that Public Protest is illegal under the current lockdown rules. So people have been defying the rules for a variety of reasons. Some are against lockdown, some are vaccination deniers or conspiracy theorists, others such as the peaceful turnout by women at Clapham Common, were motivated by the sense of how dangerous it is for women on our streets, following the murder of Sarah Everard.

Whether small or large turnouts of large gatherings of people for protest or commemoration are inevitably a vector for transmission of the virus, and people appear to be prepared to break the law for their cause, however unrepresentative it is.

The protests against the terms of the Police and Crime Bill going through Parliament at the moment in Bristol were a case in point. Even the peaceful parts of that protest were against the law, but the case of where people determined to use that cause as an opportunity for violence and attacks on the Police and Property are well known, which is why the government seem to want to criminalize any form of protest, which has not been approved by local authorities or police.

People are calling the terms of the proposed legislation as a challenge to their freedoms of free speech, of the right to assemble for a protest, and a way of introducing a "Police State". I haven't studied the proposals in any detail, but it seems to me that the way to "kill the bill" the mantra of Saturdays protesters is by exercising their right to lobby their MP's to vote against it. In other words, following the democratic process, including peaceful protest, when it is safe to do so, not in the middle of a pandemic.

Surely we all feel a grievance sometimes when restrictions are imposed on our freedom to do just as we like, but we have a responsibility to observe those restrictions for the protection of ourselves and others. We have a duty of care for each others, and we disregard this at our and others peril. Surely the figures of deaths so far and those hospitalised with severe, life affecting long term conditions should be evidence enough for us to stick to the lawful pursuits, but so many don't see it that way.

I could ask whatever happened to the "British Commons ense and stoicism"? perhaps it is a well meaning myth and the "Spirit of the Blitz" never existed?

I just pray that the population at large will see sense and stop these sort of protests until it is safe to do so, legally and for the right reasons. 

Keeping the Sabbath Holy

 Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy is one of the 10 Commandments.  I am particularly drawn to the extended text of the Prayer Book commandment:

“Six days shalt thou labour, and do all that thou hast to do; but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God. In it thou shalt do no manner of work, thou, and thy son, and thy daughter, thy man-servant, and thy maid-servant, thy cattle, and the stranger that is within thy gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the seventh day, and hallowed it”.

It is obvious that we work in some way or other and welcome a day of rest on the Sabbath, although if you are in ministry of any sort, including the Choir, the Sabbath may not feel like a day of rest, as believe it or not, those working to prepare for worship will have worked hard to prepare it beforehand, rather than just playing it off the cuff and hoping for the best.

For many of us these words  will be well outside our comfort zone. For instance, how many of us have a man-servant or maid-servant (I wish) and unless we are farmers, we don’t have many cattle in Urban, Belvedere (Unless you know different of course).  But the sentence I want to concentrate on is “the stranger that is within they gates”.

I suspect that many of us will take this to mean someone we don’t know, someone newly arrived in our neighbourhood, someone perhaps of a different racial, ethnic, religious or cultural background to ours, but I think that that conclusion is pretty stereo typed. 

If you look around Church (when we are in it) and we meet each other wearing masks and socially distanced, we will recognise each other if we know each other well enough, even by sight, even if we have forgotten, for a moment or two, their name.   But are we kidding ourselves, do we really know them well?

No doubt we think that we  are heeding that other greatest commandment about “loving our neighbour as ourself” but how can we truly obey  that essential second greatest commandment if  we don’t really know them?

 If we haven’t made the time to speak to them, to socialise with them or to have shared our lives with them wider than the short meeting in Church on a Sunday, if we have not engaged enough to know their full back story, about them and their family and in return, shared our story with them.

Without that sort of engagement how can we truly say that we are obeying the commandment?

Of course, not everyone feels confident to engage in the way described, there might be inhibitions about meeting people in that way. That  famous “British Reserve” even “Stiff Upper Lip” might be getting in the way of our being truly able to assent to the commandment,  And of course, we are hesitant to invade peoples personal privacy or space, or perhaps unsure of ourselves, not wanting to be that “nosy neighbour” poking their nose in where not wanted, not wanting to be rebuffed, not wanting to be embarrassed.

But if we hesitate to commit to extend our network of fellowship in Christ, perhaps those I write off, share most of those same traits or inhibitions, perhaps waiting for the other to hold out the hand or breaking the ice and offering the hand of Christ in welcome, love and friendship and fellowship that we need to both build our gathered community of God, but also in building his Kingdom.

Might I suggest something quite obvious?   The idea of the “stranger within our Gates” goes back to that “Ministry of Welcome” that is portrayed in the commandment.  It is an invitation for us to look beyond ourselves, to see each other, including the “stranger” as someone created in God’s image as we are, someone who we need to invite into our community, our lives, not just in a shared communal act of worship (though that is central to what we do and who we are as people of God), but as friends, as family, as a fellow member of God’s people, just like us, with all or flaws, strengths and weaknesses and by doing this, we build the Body of Christ, here in Belvedere  and his Kingdom wider in the world.  I for one know I have more to do in this respect.

 

How about you?                                                                                                                              

Improvisation for Worship

 I'm not sure how often it has happened.  

You are waiting in Church for a locum Priest to arrive to take your mid-week BCP service, when 10 minutes before the start you get a call to say that they are unwell and won't be here.  In the meantime the first members of the congregation are sitting in the Pews, the Altar is laid up, the candles are lit and you have a problem.

You are in vacancy, your retired Priest is away, you don't have permission to lead a service of Communion by Extension, and not enough consecrated hosts in the home communion kits to cover those expected anyway and no time to find a stand in at 10 minutes notice.

So, saying a quick thank you to the unattending Priest, you need to make a decision. What can you do?

Cancel - but people are expecting to worship?

Go straight to the coffee?

Or lead a Service of the Word - but those coming are BCP worshipers in the main?

You have nothing prepared, but you happen to notice the pile of the "Green, Shorter BCP" on a table waiting to be collected by the church you are donating them to.  

The light bulb "Why Not BCP Morning Prayer"?  

You can use the normal days readings, you have enough books for everyone. So you go for it.

You announce that due to the absence of the Priest Holy Communion is now not an option, but we will be saying Morning Prayer together from the Green Books and you would lead.  If anyone felt like they would like to leave as the service wasn't the one advertised, please feel free to do so.  But thankfully nobody does.

The saving grace for you is your familiarity with the BCP, and that of those in church, more used to Holy Communion or Evensong. One or two not used to using the Prayer Book are comfortable, once they realise it is a set format and they will be led by the Minister through the service and their responses are laid out in front of them.

So you proceed and it all goes well. The person due to read the Epistle reads it, you read the Gospel and tell those present that you will not give them a sermon, but spend five short minutes explaining one or two aspects of the readings and the relationship between them.

The service proceeds to the end and you go to the back of church as people leave and are delighted that many of them are more than happy that they could still worship without a Priest present and use a form of worship, which is over 450 years old and despite the language, were able to feel part of it all.

This is something that happened at my parish several years ago, and I thought that it might be a one off episode, but other share the experience of the times when someone didn't turn up and as a Church Warden they'd had to lead Morning or Evening prayer themselves.  

I was glad that my training as a LLM had been used for the purpose it was intended, and now tomorrow, I find myself doing something similar, due to illness and non-availability of a celebrant, but at least I have had notice, have had time to prepare a specific OOS (The Green Books are long gone) for it and a sermon that I was going to preach at the service of Holy Communion.

Somehow this is what my calling is. To support those who lead, but being prepared to step in when required, not to their role, but an alternative leadership role as a Licensed Minister in the Church of God.

And I thank God for calling me to this role, for giving me the skills and knowledge to cope and to fulfill that role and the confidence to immediately step up to the plate when needed.

Stroke

I had a shock on 6th July when my spouse suffered a stroke. Fortunately I was there when it happened and recognising the signs, I dialed 999 even before I went to her aid (she had fallen). The Ambulance arrived within 10 minutes and she was in a Stroke unit within 30.  She was within the time frame for administration of the clott busting drug, which limited the damage done, but it was still substantial.

As a left brain stroke, her right side was affected, which also involves some parts that control speech and swallowing. She is right handed so the right arm and side are weaker as a result.

After three days in the acute care unit, she was transferred to a local stroke unit for our area, where she underwent three weeks of rehabilitation.

For me, the effect was one of great anxiety, as due to the Covid19 restrictions I had to watch the Ambulance leave without me and I was unable to go to the hospital to visit or to be with her.  Fortunately, the Dr who was treating her in the ACU rang me to confirm the diagnosis and to tell me what the initial assessment was.  Due to the quick actions I took, she had been given a change of making a good recovery, longer term.

I recall as she was being taken into the ambulance, she insisted (through slurred speech) I want my phone and I grabbed it and the charger and gave it to her.

This enabled her within two days to at least ring me to ask for things, It was difficult to understand her, but I got the gist, she needed clothes, some personal stuff and the likes of washing and shower stuff. I was permitted to pack a bag and deliver it to the ACU for her, with additional things over the next two days.  After her transfer to the rehab stroke unit I was able to visit the ward, but not to enter, but to hand over the essentials she needed and collect items for laundry.

In the meantime, I had activated the video call using Google Duo, which we had activated on both her and my smartphones just a few days before her stroke.  This allowed us to call each other daily. We had found that pure audio calls had caused difficulty for her.  She had been diagnosed some years ago with hearing loss of 50 per cent in both ears, and the stroke had caused a temporary worsening of this condition, she just could not hear very well.  Video though was a revelation. She had been compensating for the hearing loss by being able to lip sync, now she could see my mouth, she was able to know what I was saying, while I could understand her better as her speech therapy kicked in and day by day, she got better. 

Thanks to her personal determination her rehabilitation in hospital went well and after 24 days, she was assessed as able to return home, with continuing care from community specialists and she came home on the 30th of July.  Too say that I was overjoyed is an understatement.  We have been married for 32 years, and while we had been apart before for periods of working away, never had we been apart for so long. Yes, she had been in hospital before for operations on a dodgy sinus and two bouts of pneumonia, but I had been able to visit and see her. I had heard of others suffering by the artificial separation caused by the virus, many of whom had been denied access to family members or friends due to virus restrictions, having to grieve and even some had been unable to attend the funeral of a much loved family member.   I shared in a small way, their experience, although, I knew from the outset that we would eventually be reunited.  

Now she is home, she had her first contact within 24 hours with the community care team of therapists and her first assessment visit within 48 hours yesterday.  We can now expect intensive, every other day visits for the next two weeks, with then a less intensive regime for the following four weeks.

Our shared experience has been traumatic, but also hope filled. So many people have been praying for us both, so many have stepped up to support us to make unqualified offers of help, that it is a positive sign for me that people are instinctively reaching out to support others, a characteristic of their humanity, whether or not they share our Christian Faith.  Some Clergy friends, my Spiritual Director and many others outside our family and friends circle has helped and supported us. Even some that we don't know, but have heard of J's condition have contacted us with prayers and offers of help.  I have been stopped on the street by people that I don't know, but who know J offering their support for her and for me.  Surely, the portrayal in the media of some being heartless is certainly misguided and does a disservice to people.  In their view the only news is the bad, and often the unsung silent, quiet work of many is ignored.

The care that J had from the NHS has been first class following the stroke, which we are thankful for, and the ongoing care will be appreciated.  But, we are only to aware that the warning signs of the potential for a stroke, evident from an A&E admission 3 days before the stroke and a follow up visit for scans and tests the day before the stroke were not acted on by those she saw.  This is something to be addressed in the future, for now we need to concentrate on J's rehabilitation and restoration to whatever new normal health wise will be for her.

One of the personal effects for me were that when seeking to pray for her, the contemporary prayers and resources didn't really appeal. I resorted to the words of the Book of Common prayer, including the traditional language Psalms for my lamentation, because that is what and how I felt, and perhaps what I needed to pray for healing and wholeness for J.

Now, I am returning to the more modern forms of language, particularly a catholic prayer book, which seem to suit how I now feel.  Gratitude to God for his healing and mercy for J, and also the process of healing my spirit as I go forward.  Thanks be to God.